My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
