If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
