They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
