speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
