Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize