Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
