It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
