Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
