ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
