TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
