did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize