after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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