dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
