if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
