If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
