I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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