I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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