kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
