dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
