More tranny stories later!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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