Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
