what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
