her vagine was all disorganized.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
