How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
