Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm too high and old for this...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
