Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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