AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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