the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
