There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
