Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
A+ Viking dick
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
