you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
