ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
