I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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