Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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