Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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