I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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