you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
