Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
