I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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