It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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