Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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