come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
