When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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