I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
