It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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