ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
