I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
