i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
