I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
