this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
