3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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