glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
