I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
