spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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