I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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