dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
