dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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