dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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