last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
