and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
