Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
