So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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