for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize