i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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