I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize