I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
