I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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