you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize