the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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