omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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