im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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